Uriel

"So I picked up my last pay check. When I did, he demanded that I talk to him. I didn't mention nor was I going to mention that I was quitting. I turned on the recorder on my phone, and I walked in. First words out of his mouth was, "'you look like a hooker. I told you never to wear braids to this office again.'"
And before I could say anything else he said that I smelled like cool-aid. So I stopped him. I said, 'before you say anything else, let me just let you know that I am recording this conversation. Look. I wasn't going to say anything. I was just going to silently slip away from the beast. But you know what? I guess I am just going to have to just slay the beast before I am really Set free. Number 1. I am quitting and I am getting a lawyer. A good one so you better get someone good. 2. Fuck you and go strait to hell. You are a racist asshole and I am going to suit the hate out of your flat ass. You get ready you son of a bitch. 3. My severance check better be so damn fat that I might consider not saying anything about this at all. Go fuck yourself. And I am out. You wanted a nigger. Here I am. Guess what? niggers loved to get paid.

I picked up the glass of wine and took another sip. I take notice of the two shady gentlemen who keeps staring at me and watching my every move. I have to pee but I get the feeling that the two shady gentlemen might rape me. It's just a feeling. I get them all the time.

'Girl, you are so lucky. To even get him being nasty that one last time was a good break.'

'Son of a bitch. You can always count on a monster being a monster that's for sure.'
I take another sip and watch the two gentleman watching me.

'Listen I have to go. I Have to get back home before Jessie leaves. He'll kill me if I'm late. I'll see you tomorrow right?'

I take another sip. Kinda preoccupied with what is happening. As my sister wait for her answer.

'Hopefully. I'll call you to see where I'm at.'

Mila dropped her coat and got aggro for a second.

'Kelse, you have to be there. I doing this damn party for you. Don't flake.'

I shooed her away. I was pretty much in tune with what I was feeling with the assholes across the room. I always get these feelings. I should take off too. I put on my coat and begin to walk towards the door.
'Come one let's get you a cab.'

As we leave I take a look at the two guys again. They were nowhere to be found.

'That's creepy.'

I've never been one to react like other people would if they saw something out of their comfort level. Call it a blessing to be moron. But that's me. I never react immediately. So I do stupid shit like usually walk myself into a trap. Instead of taking a cab like a normal drunk paranoid person, I had to walk to the train station to go home. So. Here I am. I'm being followed by the two assholes from the bar. I have a cell phone. I have mace. I have this shank thing. I have this feeling again. Like I am not alone. I don't know why I get those feelings in the time of Danger. But here it was again. I felt a strong presence.

So I continue to walk. No one would believe me if I ever told them that I had a protector of some kind I can't explain it. I just do. And now I am standing on a platform, waiting for a L.A. train that tragically usually comes by when it wants thereby getting people killed.
I should learn how to drive. How is that possible to be in Los Angeles that long and not know how to drive. I'm kinda nuts.

This is awkward for two reasons,I know what's going to happen. These two assholes are going to attack me. I have no idea what to do but to sit here and wait. Maybe they decided to take the same train at the same time. It could be purely coincidental. But I doubt it. Seriously. They look stupid. I wish this was not going to happen. I wish these two guys were not getting as close as they were getting. Here is the first guy.

'Hey.'
I take a look and smile.
'Hey.'
He places his hands in his pocket, took a look at the other guy and turned back to me.
'Someone wants you to keep your mouth close.'
'Oh. So that's what this is about? Old Harrison got you boys over here to beat on me a little like a Po black slave? I figured he was going to want to whip my ass for the insane amount of money I'm suing him for.'
'More like kill you a little.'

He pulled his gun out and I stood to my feet. I think, I think I'm going to die. First thing that escapes from my lips is oh God. Out of utter frozen shock, that is the only thing that escaped from my lips. Oh God.

I had no idea what I was gonna do. If I go for my bag they just might start to shoot at me. I stood frozen. I closed my eyes and clenched my purse. I could feel my heart pounding. It was the only thing I could hear. Their voices sounded like echoes. I kept my eyes closed and felt a wave of eufohoria pull me from the inside. I did not dare open my eyes. But what I felt was beyond words. Warm waves of massive euohoria that felt like I was floating away. There was a little bit of shill in my cheek but for the most part I was as warm and snug as a blanket. Was I dead? I could not tell. I felt no Pain, heard no shots. Had I passed over? Was it that easy that fast? I did not feel brave enough to open my eyes. But I was far away from danger.

*****

'Did you see that?' Sid stood still. He had no words to utter other than,'Did you see that.' He was out of breath and struggled to understand what had happened. She just flew. Right up in the sky. Jarret, his partner, did not understand it either. his words were even less.
'Yeah man.'
They were shocked.
'She just flew up man. DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?'
Jarret again was a wizard with response.
'Yeah man. Bitch went right in the sky man. I saw it.'
'BITCH-FLEW-RIGHT-UP-IN-THE-SKY.'
They both head for the stairs out onto the street.
'We are going to just say that she got in a cab. It wasn't the right time. I'll make the call.'

********


I finally got up enought nerve to open my eyes. I was in the air. I was not being held by anyone. I could feel the tightness around me. Something invisible was holding onto me. Another story no one would believe. who is gonna believe this shit? i could not possible explain to anyone that i went flying in the air after a couple of guys came to kill me. Whatever it was dropped me off on a hill in I think Bel Air. Why? I do not know. There was a house. I was could see the light at my hand pull me toward the house. The door opened and the fromt light turned on. I was not into arguing and obvisouly was being helped by some force. I am not going to get all paranoid now. Even when the lights turned on by themselves,I was cool. better than them turning off. So here I am with a Ghost or my gurdian angel But I Can imagine that if i tell this to anyone, they are going to ask me if im crazy. For now, I am tired and I want to rest on that comfy sofa.

Momma Didn't raise no fool.

So we get up. We work. We accomplish this or that. And that feels good. But i am wondering WHY these days. What is it about life that has us clinging to it? There are definatly things about life that is appealing. Like food, music, love and people. I just feel like once I accomplish somthing, I get bored with it. To have these collective experieces must mean something special will happen. Then you die. I feel when people are doing their best, just when they are getting a good momentum,they die. Is it because that thing that they craved so much, is finally fullfilled and that means that they can go home. Is life a series of collected experieces that lead us to our predestined fate.
I don't want to believe that anymore. We have so many choices. we have an infinate amount of possibilities. Why is it that we choose what we choose does it mean anything? I dont care I just know that I chooses my own fate. What happens to me is only objective to me. nothing else matters. I not a minority, a black, a negor, a want-to-be. A jigga boo, a whore, a skank, a "gurlfrin." what the fuck us that. relate to me how you would your own mother. with respect and I will be sure to do the same.

Know this, I am not afraid anymore. I refuse to be scared of anything. If it is a challange, I want to take it. I want learn, live, love, fight. I want to freely be me.