you belong to me

Let us dance

Dance undwe the moon
Dance in anger
In love.
Let us dance.

real art.

I don't know why but los Angeles doesn't know how to be genuinely weird. Unless they really are genuinely weird. Other than that. It's iist a style in los ageles

art imitating art?

perfect for who

I know someone who is perfect for me. I get butterflies and we like the same things we attract like magnets and I think he is the one. I am in love with him. but I cant do anything about it because he is so broken hearted. I can't. Bit what am I gpingto do? Hes taking years. And he ant over this girl. My heart has always been with him. I've always thought of how amazung it would be its always mkagic. But he won't. Like I said. I give up on love.

what yo name is?

Black blue, blue black, purple. Chocolate brother. Solid soul brother. Smooth slick cat. Big pimpin mac daddy. A hustler baby. But mostly hardly ever. Father.

In the dark!

It's magnificent

A brush under the table with your fingers
The slide across me black silky knees
His endless search to find me flower
The waiter pours the drink
I tighten my thighs
I'll eat before I die a little.  And I'll only tolerate a little death In the dark.

sit with me

For his is the hwart I desire
I will celebrate with a kiss
I am awaken by his touch
I am drawn to his eyes

This fire in my belly
Creeps out into words
I should never utter
I am alive

Because at you
I await your love
A treasure I will bury in my breast
Hide in my belly
Take into my lips.

I need you

into my arms

Come to me
To the comfort of my arms
Now purposed wth love

Come to me
To the welcome of my thighs
Now purposed with expressions
Of tangible love

When the rain traps us
And a kiss engages us
I will feel no fear
I understand what I am
Hard earth in bloom
Nurtured by your love

Come to me
To the tent I have made
For the comfort of your head.
And the swell of your belly

Come to me
For the divine had made me
The light had found me
And fate brought me here
To you.

My heart is for you
My soul
My fate
My king

i love you

I knew it from the first time I met you. We are soulmates. But you decided to take the easier road. Now it is extremly inappropriate for me to even say aything. Bit I see your face some times and I just know its you. I am so In love with you. I cry because I think that it should be you. I'm sorry. I Have been waiting a long time. You are the perfect match for me. If you read,my blogs on MySpace, I have been waiting. I love you I'm willing to not be afraid. I'm hoping you just know that I'm talking about you. Then I know that you are my soulmate.

art imitating death imitating art

Has anyone noticed that now a days you don't really have to be good anything to succeed. It msked me wonder if people are allowed to present their crappy art, in order to just lower people standards. Until everyone us so used the crappy shit, they have no idea how to recognize great art. All the good shit gets lumped in with everything else. I can name a billion mediocre productions on tv right now. And they get awards. These folks really dont know whats good any more.

peace be with you

Are Americans actually trying to discriminate against all Muslims? I don't think bombing people's sacred space is the rigjt thing to do. Not all muslims are bad and extremist do awful things. There are so many hate groups out there. It would-be wrong to only discriminate. against Muslims. There are skin heads,m gay bashers, unibombers, kids with guns. Shouldnt we all fall suspect. Are we no better than them?

the more i think about it.

I'm just wondering if it Is ok feel like you have possession of someone. I think its funny that people try to control Other people. underneath it all, I think there Is an issue of letting go. Just because a person used to date, doesn't mean that you own another person and can control them. Really grow the fuck up people.

soulmate

This is for you. I was told to tell ypu that I was still waiting for you. Did you forget the dream. I'm In los angeles. So get your butt over here. I hear you are a little possesive. That's cool. Love you. Can wait to see you. I also hear thatyou do music. Makes me nervous.

Short story: The wanting comes in waves

This was the time to say something. Anything. He was about to say I do and i was not ready to hear it. I was in denial already. Here I am at the wedding of the man That I loved. Only he was marrying someone else. I could not just let him say I do. This was all wrong.

'If there is anyone here who opposes this union, let him speak now or forever hold his or her peace.'

I stood I had no dignity. I did not even pay attention to the woman who was trying to take me out after i stood. I heard her voice but did not understand what she was muttering. The church walls around me started to spend. I did not feel right. I felt as if the next words that i utter would send me into oblivion.

'I', was all that i could say before I passed out into oblivion.

**********

I did awake to find Freddy standing over me. He was still in his tux which means he went through with it. I could have cried. I could feel the tears weld up. I did not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry so i decided to just turn to my side.

'So you are now someones husband. I hope you are very happy.'

'I did not get married.'

I had turned to look at him. I can't say that i was not happy to hear the good news. I was hoping that he would not get married.

'you did not get married? Why not?'

'Because you had something to tell me and i could not in good conscience marry someone that i was not sure about.'

'Oh God please don't blame that on me. I didn't want to sabotage your wedding.'

'Oh no? Then why did you stand up to oppose?'

I could not answer that. Why did I stand up? I had known for months that it would happen. I did not freak when I saw the invite. It was becoming all too real. So why did i stand up? I had long since denied him anything that had to do with us getting together. Even as we spent every moment with each other, I was not sure that Freddy was the one i was really in love with. He was everything that I did ask for. I simply did not know how to make it work. And now here he is standing in a tux meant to be wed in with some other woman. Gosh what was i thinking letting him go? I loved and i did not. I want and then i Don't. If would marry anyone. it would be Freddy. He was the most kind and thought man. He was attentive and sweet. He would even save the last bite of food for me. He's a happy person, beautiful and talented.

"i guess is still love you.'
'Love me? this is the first time you ever mentioned anything about love. Why didn't you say this to me when i first told you i was marrying Gwen?

'Because I did not want to look like a fool. I never did this before Freddy. I never been in love with anyone before. It scares the shit out of me to think that someone would actually rely on me. I cant give you anything.'

'Give me anything? I don't need anything. I just wanted to make you happy and show you how happy you would be with me. But every time i touched you, you freaked out. I thought you were disgusted with me.'

'No not at all. I do love you, i just,'

i Paused. What should i say just tell him the truth. I wanted him and let all this time go by.

'you just what?'

' I am scared Freddy. I am scared to lose you. I'm scared to even acquire you because i don't want to loose you.'

'Tara I am your friend for life you know that. I love you too. I am marrying Gwen though.'

I had turned over to my side. should i just spill my guts about miss Gwen. As far as i am concerned she had become my enemy. I Tried being nice to her for the sake of Freddy But little miss Gwen had secrets honey. I had been witness to many counts of Gwen getting out of line. I even had friends of Freddy call me to tell me some things that was going on with her. Gwen is a cheating whore. What the hell If i could not have him, no one could.

'She cheats you know. She is a lie and a cheater and you will be making a mistake if you stay with her.'

'If that is true, why did you not tell me this?
'because i am in love with you. I sabotaged us even though i am in love with you. You would just chalk it up as jealousy.'
'She cheated on me?'
'YES. more than once.'
'So now i am supposed to drop everything and marry you? You rejected me remember? I have moved on. I not going to ever fall in love with you again.'

I could take that. I was prepared for it. So I remained turned on my side and again I said nothing. I didn't expect anything. I just wanted to say my peace.


***************

Work was today. Everyone who knew me and Freddy knew that I had made a fool of myself. I still did not care what anyone thought. I wanted to see if there was still a Freddy and me and i was not ashamed of that. Freddy is my soul mate. Even if we are not together. I can handle that. I tell you one thing though. Gwen ain't getting Freddy. This is not over.

American rat race

running, running in circles
Chasing dreams
Chasing fiction
Our hearts beating fast in the dust
our color effective in the inevitable
Watching the bones licked dry
waiting for our turn that will never come.

The condition of the American is a futile one. The only thing worth living for is the hope of one day getting your piece of the pie. We get lost chasing this myth of imaginary money. The only thing of value is your ethos, your dignity and Self respect. We all sold a piece of ourselves at one point of our lives in order to belong. To say that we have, we can. But we all know that underneath it all we don't have anything and we can not get anywhere in America. We all fell susceptible to beast. Taking from it's belly like parasites unwanted and fathomless. We are living in our lower vibrations. We are sharing them with each other. It is time to wake up and experience ourselves. We spend a lot of time paying attention to those around us. And even though we can relate to their pain, we don't acknowledge it. We are too busy making others feel bad in order to take the focus off ourselves. you better save your soul and stop hoping that the governing bodies care enough to focus on us as a whole. They Dont They keep us seperate even thought we are here together. The power is in numbers. No one man can beat that. Let us revel in our connectedness.


You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Mahatma Gandhi

People and connection

We are all connected in some way. We are all responsible for each other. It does start with the individual and that energy is transferred to whom ever you come in contact with. That is how it works. It seems we all have a lot of work to do when it comes to trying to stay honest with yourself. It seems pretty hard to govern ourselves when we are trying to police and govern others. It is time for us to look at ourselves and be honest. Why do we jump head first into things without actually weighing the options. Why are we so eager to jump into every opportunity without knowing what it is we are getting into. Or is it that I don't do that and I should. It seems people just like the label of things. The social network it their net worth. hmm. When did we give our powers to each other? When will we ever be comfortable in our own skins? Time to look in that mirror and wonder who we are. Why we do things. Los Angeles is a city full of sociopaths and you are probably dating one. So lets try to get into our higher selves before we start trying to share our mess with others. I am talking about me more so than those around me.

Honesty

Honestly, I am a very bad person for thinking the shit that i think, I want something that i cant have. I want it bad. I have no right to it and i feel like i need to have it. I think it's psychological. I always want what some one else has. Classic. It truly is. I will not do anything about it because i know where it is coming from but i want it. I want it bad. And those who have it take it for granted. Too bad. Maybe in some kind of way. I will have it.

ghost world

Times are changing. What we talk about and who we tell it to is vitally important. We have a responsibilty to each other to make things right. Los Angeles is a Ghost world. More so than New Orleans. Went to a sober party and it was like walking in a tomb for the old hollywood dead society. Everyone looked like plastic and skin. No one had anything to talk about except how great it is to be sober. like that's all life is in hollywood. You become the willing victim of you surroundings and then you spend the rest of your life wanting to make up for it by diving into this addiction of sober living. Don't get me wrong its great to clean yourself up. But please don't try to judge others by the mistakes you make. We all have our Journey. We should all try to wake up and learn how to really deal with our pain.

Sans Testecles

Yeah so i guess we now all have the option to buy medical. woopie, we can buy it. What the hell. I am not a political anylist. I even only attain a few collage credits. I will say this though, this is some bullshit. It is the beggining of a very long progress with healthcare reform. It still not enough. Come on President Obama, With all due respect, get some balls. Who are you trying to please? I though it was about the people.

And people. Stop it. Stop it with the notion that healthcare is welfare. You will be able to do it too. It is time that we do out part as citizens and pay into the system. All of us and yes some are poor, but it is capitalismn that conditioned them to be that way. We want some good things in return too. We want free health care. That is after all what we a paying for. We're paying for it to be free. Wake up. Do you understand that you are putting a market price on something you can have for free. You are willinnly paying your money into insurance companies who dont want you to have healthcare. They want you to pay them until you die.

Ego Tripping

Ah the band in Los Angeles. So bright and full of self love. And self. People like you because of the vibes you put out. You expand because you are open to it. When nothing else is going on in your life worth seeking, and all you have is the art. Why fight that. Why do you need to be rewarded for wanting to express yourself. Are you really truly an artist if you are willing to walk away from it because you could not get the earlier 30 minute spot? Where is our head? We are artist, We are not divas. where is the integrity to yourself and your expression. Its hard to get along with people who only think of themselves. and no one wants to work with a person who thinks that he is better than the rest. Be or not be. Don't be this person no one wants to work with. and if you cant work with the amatures. what makes you think you are ready for the pros?

That noise Defines Destiny

That Noise defines destiny
The members of the band ‘That Noise’, went out to play South by south west. At first, it was a bad idea, because no one had money. Then as fate would have it, they had the opportunity to bus with another band who was also attending south by south west. So off they went with passion and drive and barely any capital. When as fate would have it the second time, the lead singer met some bad luck at the boarders of Texas when he was found with an incredible cocktail of illegal’s. It was enough to get him into hot water. Now here is the question. Is it nobler in the mind to except the bad spoils of fate or should you keep on fighting?
The integrity of the music was still there. They never gave up. They went on. In the rock music world, they earned the right to be on that stage. With all the slings and arrows thrown their way, they fiercely kept on until they were on that stage and focused destination. This is favorable in the eyes of the rock Gods. They kept the faith. They were determined and dedicated enough to never let any obstacle get in their way. I think this band has a very bright future. Good luck boys!

Downtown Los Angele: The Height of Sophistication?

 

As a local of Los Angeles, I have been craving to see life in the city. As far as art and Culture goes, there is none, with the exception of the beautiful Latino culture that thrives but not all understand and participate. And that is only one voice. There are plenty other forms of art in Los Angeles that is grossly ignored. What was considered art and culture in Los Angeles 10 years ago was the exclusiveness of underground parties. You had to know people in order to participate and observe. The proposal to bring Life and art into the heart of downtown Los Angeles will not only thrive for the local food Culturist and artist; it gives all a chance to participate and observe something they can relate to. I can remember when and if I ever drove downtown, there were a concentrated number of transients in tents on the streets at night. Main Street was the place you could go to by drugs. The Rosslyn hotel housed crack heads and drug addicts. Then museums and art galleries started showing up every where. The Santee alley sold a pair of shoes for five to ten dollars. The streets were empty and the old theatres were never used. With the new Art movement in Downtown Los Angeles comes the death of the Garment district downtown. The Fashion district is slowly dying. Is this a sacrifice worth making? Did we not learn anything from the Garment district of the Manhattan's Bowery?

Now that the energy has shifted, I feel like there is life in Los Angeles. We were a silent voice yearning to get out and express the angst and perpetual boredom. Now the silent and muted artist now has a voice and a stage for the locals. There is also the new neighborhood with real live domestics and dogs with sweaters. This new Downtown has now become the height of sophistication. I'm hoping the rest of Los Angeles catch on. And hopefully it won't die out like everything else in Los Angeles.